Being A Lying Witness

Monday, October 18, 2021
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Listen while you read: "I Will Sing Of My Redeemer"1 (Lyrics)

"He hit me!", yelped my 4-year-old daughter after apparently being assaulted by her big brother. If you're a parent, you'll suspect that there's more to this story! You may wonder, as I did, how this sweet little girl had aggravated him … yet again. You'd not wish to collude with her in villainizing the brother.

Similar scenarios are all too common among adults. It's called "triangulation" and involves three parties: the victim, the villain, and the rescuer. It proceeds something like this: You chat with someone who is seeking your sympathy over an offense that they experienced. The third person, the apparent offender, is absent, so you hear only one side of the story. Afterwards, it's difficult to view the seeming offender without some degree of distrust. You may even collude with the victim in villainizing this "enemy".

Such scenarios become terribly divisive in relationships. Yet, they are so familiar that we easily forget how intensely evil they can be. They violate a moral code, namely, the ninth commandment:

Exodus 20:16 – You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. (NIV)

Perhaps you know this commandment as "Do not lie", yet miss the point as expanded in Exodus 23:1-9. There you'll see that it's about justice and fairness. It means: do not portray your neighbour (including opponents or those outside your circle) in dishonest ways, with the aim of having them unfairly accused. Oh, you might be quite truthful in your details, but you use those truths for evil motives — just as my daughter did. She was, actually, a lying witness because she slanted her testimony with the devious aim of making herself look righteous and her brother look guilty. It's a subtle form of vengeance.

As I ponder the ninth commandment, I find myself sensitized to my own guilt. I've been a lying witness more times than I'll ever know. Then, there are those many occasions when I remained a silent bystander, allowing a speaker to get away with accusing language regarding an absent person. I preferred to remain socially agreeable. However, this permissive silence doesn't make me innocent, for in truth, I could have put a check on inappropriate conversation. I'd say that I didn't sufficiently hate evil:

Romans 12:9 – Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. (NIV)

This verse is from the "love passage" in Romans. The entire passage brilliantly puts substance to the ninth commandment. Here are a few more bits from Romans 12:

    Honor one another above yourselves … Bless those who persecute you … Live in harmony with one another …. Do not repay anyone evil for evil … As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone … Do not take revenge … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:10,14,16,17,18,19,21)

Let's meditate on these verses to guard ourselves from the temptation to be a lying witness or to be taken in by a lying witness.

Prayer: Lord, expose any vengeful motive that may lurk within us, and deepen our appreciation for Your precious laws of justice and fairness, as expressed throughout Scripture. Amen.

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About the author:

Diane Eaton <d.eaton@bmts.com>
Paisley, Ontario, Canada

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1 Comment

  • PresbyCan Feedback says:

    Thanks for the good reminder, Diane.


    Thank you, Diane. A lesson I needed!


    Thanks, Diane, for another wonderful devotion.


    Good reminder, Diane. Thanks for sharing your understanding.


    How helpful to have these references!
    Bless you for this very pointed DD.


    Diane, that’s profound, in my eyes. I do not recall having this truth laid out so clearly. Thanks.


    Thank you for sharing this much needed devotional reminder with us.
    Blessings.


    Oh, Dear! This is really giving me something to think about! I need it!
    Take care and stay well!


    So true, Diane. Being a not so innocent silent bystander can definitely contribute to the problem. Thanks for the reminder!


    Merci Diane for the practical instructions. Tou·ché. Pertinent Bible insight: Roman’s 12 “puts substance” to the ninth commandment.


    What if she were telling the truth?
    You’ve just made her a victim. Another triangulation. A very hurtful and dangerous triangulation.
    Domestic violence advocate see it all the time: families and friends who refuse to believe.


    Hi Diane
    More than years ago I paid a high price for walking in avoidance.
    However, I can pay a high price for standing with others as well.
    As it did for Christ!
    Let the truth be told and lived!
    Blessings.


    Greetings Diane,
    Many thanks for another of your very meaningful devotionals. It is so easy for us to quickly make a negative opinion regarding a situation we hear about, before we know both sides of the story. We sure need to remind ourselves to ask the Lord to guide us in our thoughts before coming to quick conclusions. Blessings for your thoughtful writings.


    Good morning, Diane,
    Guilty as charged especially in the sin of omission. Being an introvert, it is less common for me to initiate conversations but much easier for me to let wrong words be said by others. This is not an excuse, just an explanation of my wrong doings. Definitely as I have got older and learned more, I truly do understand that they are equally wrong, and they hurt others. Jesus wants us to love all and not hurt others therefore I try to work on my behaviour. It is hard to figure out a way to handle a situation so that you try to avoid hurting either of the other people involved but that you correct the situation in a positive way.
    May we remember these verses and work towards helping ourselves and others be kinder towards everyone. Thank you for sharing with good examples to highlight the behaviour. May you continue to inspire us to be more like Jesus.


    Your devotional is so spot-on, Diane. Thank you for this reminder to always speak truthfully and to avoid triangulation.
    The Lord has given you wisdom and insight into the human heart and exceptional pastoral gifts. God bless you in your ministry.

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