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A Revisited Devotional from October 5, 1998
Mark 12:30 – Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. (KJV)
I have been in a holding pattern for many months now, like an airplane that's awaiting the okay to take off. The only trouble is that I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do next. The control tower is silent. I rev my engines; I call in for feedback. I receive silence. I want to serve; I want to know what my ministry is, but the answer is silent. I find myself thinking that I must be doing something wrong. Maybe I haven't prayed hard enough. Maybe God is mad at me. Why isn't He responding to me? It is difficult for me to realize that silence is one way that the Lord says to me, "Wait." So, I cool my jets and put myself in park. But my attitude is not one of gratefulness and devotion. I am angry and dejected. Doesn't the Lord want me? Doesn't He know that there are only so many days and years in a life? My days are melting away, not counting for anything. But it is in the silence that I finally begin to hear Him again. I do not sense His direction, but I know His love. His love is what will guide me. He is more interested in my relationship with Him than in my service to Him.
One phrase I heard in church caught my attention: "Not ability but availability." In my idea of a ministry, I imagine putting forth a superhuman effort, a self-denial so pervasive that it takes all my strength, all my mind, all my soul, all my heart. I forget that this self-denial is not a sacrifice but a blessing. The Lord did not tell us to serve with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. He told us to love Him in that way. Service is an outpouring of love, not a matter of personal effort. It is not so much a matter of putting the self to death, but of receiving a better life. In meditating on this concept, other distortions in thought are brought to light:
- Not Ability But Availability
Not grasping but receiving
Not doing but being
Not giving but releasing
Not claiming but believing
Not fearing but loving
Not worrying but caring
Not seeing but knowing
Not leaving but arriving
Not forcing but willing
Not searching but seeking
Not increasing but absorbing
Not trying but pleasing
Not winning but surrendering
Not achieving but blessing
Not boasting but praising
Not earning but receiving grace
Not working but exercising faith
Not dying but entering eternal life.
Prayer: Lord, please forgive me for thinking that it is my own effort that will bring about worthy service. I need You to correct my thinking. Help me, please, to love You. Let me be consumed with love for You. By Your Holy Spirit, let Your love be manifest to others through righteous acts which You have ordained for me to do. Thank You for allowing me a role in Your kingdom. Amen.
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Monday, March 24, 2025 – In the Middle East — We recently received a message telling us that one of our dear local friends has passed away. This was so hard, as we are on home assignment which makes it even harder. Please pray with us that the Lord will comfort his family and children and that Christ's name will be glorified. Help them to stay strong in their faith in the face of opposition..
friend: "Update March 21, 2025; Please continue to pray for Hilde who has had dizziness for many months..." 
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Very good – much to think about.
Thank-you, I often feel the same way.
Patience – Love God expressed in love for others.
Thanks Kathleen, blessings to you and your family.
“Availability” with my “coffee Break” group at church?
Thanks, Kathleen. This is exactly the message I needed today.
Thank you for sharing this encouraging devotional again with us. May we always lean into availability instead of our own ability. Blessings.
How refreshing to read your devotional this morning. It really made an impact on me. Thank you so much.
(BC, Canada)
Kathleen,
Your devotional today is one of the most effective I have ever read. Thank you.
(Texas)
Thanks.
Don’t remember your writing from 1998. But it was just what I needed to read today.
Bless you, Kathleen for passing on your wisdom from God.
(BC Canada)
Hi Kathleen
A great piece of writing.
Let me guess…. 27 years later, you’ve been flooded with what God has entrusted to your care?
(BC)
Kathleen,
Your writing fits right into the topic in my women’s small group bible study at church.
I love the “not ability but availability” list. Thank you so much for helping emphasize this truth so clearly.
Thank you for writing this devotional.
I sure needed these thoughts.
My lack of patience sure needs some help.
And acceptance sure is weak.
So thank you for this writing.
I pray that it helps my outlook.
Blessings.
Greetings Kathleen,
I found this devotional that you had previously written very impressive and instructive today. The list you wrote of what “not” to do was very positive. I think so often we try controlling our own lives rather than realizing our loving Lord has the right actions designated for us, and we sure need take the time to follow His will for us. Blessings for sharing your thoughts in this special writing you prepared.
Nicely put Kathleen.