Survivor's Guilt

Saturday, October 12, 2024
Listen to this devotional:
Listen while you read: "Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee"1 (Lyrics)

Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (NIV)

Matthew 5:4 – Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (NIV)

He was a young, talented rugby player, and he was hospitalized after a very bad accident. She was a petite young nurse who nursed him back to health. Soon afterwards, they fell in love, got married, shared a beautiful life together, and had two amazing children and six grandchildren. When she became seriously ill and was hospitalized during the early days of COVID-19, he visited her every day. When the hospital announced that they would be shutting their doors because the virus was spreading, he immediately arranged for her discharge. He carried her home and became her full-time caregiver for the next four months.

There were times when he became angry and frustrated with the laundry and cooking. Sue had diabetes and she had to eat her meals on time to control her diabetes. When she stopped feeding herself, Jim fed her. At times, he felt helpless and alone, and he was afraid of the future without her.

They were in their own home alone and in isolation until she died. The fourth anniversary of Sue's death was on August 20th. At the end of my one-and-a-half-hour conversation with him, I said, "This is quite a story," and he said, "I know — you can write it if you want to." I answered, "I might do just that."

The original purpose of my call was to express my gratitude for the new duties that he had taken on as the clerk of session at our church. He shared with me that after her death, he felt guilty that she had gone first: survivor's guilt. His wonderful family, his pastors, and his brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus stepped in. He became an elder and an active participant in several areas of his church. God gave him the strength to get through one of the most challenging periods in his life. Now God is using him to help others, and he is doing it for God's glory.

As Christians, we believe that God has a plan for each of us, including the length of our lives. Therefore, it is not up to us whether we live or die, and we should not feel any guilt if we are spared while someone else dies. The apostle Paul wrote, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1 NIV)

Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, You know our hearts and You know us inside and out. Please release us from the unnecessary guilt that we are carrying around today. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for giving us Your strength and grace to live each day in victory. For this we pray, in Your name. Amen.

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About the author:

Yvonne Myers <yvonneemyers@gmail.com>
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

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1 Comment

  • PresbyCan Feedback says:

    An amazing story!!


    Thank you for sharing that with us


    Thanks for the wonderful reminder, Yvonne.


    Thank you for your article. I found it very helpful.
    God bless.


    That story sounds familiar!
    I pray daily for him!


    A beautiful story of love with an important message for us all. Thanks for sharing it and God bless!


    Yvonne, I am encouraged by how you use this man’s difficult trial to draw out God’s providence and to stay grounded in His merciful loving kindness.


    Dear Yvonne,
    Thanks so very much for sharing such an amazing story.
    God bless you!


    Thank you for sharing. My husband passed away several years ago – cared for by community and family. I praise God for his life dedicated to ministry as a missionary in Brazil and local churches.


    Thanks, Yvonne, for this very touching story of what Jim had dealt with.
    Wonderful to hear how Jesus is working in his life now and he is so dedicated to helping others in many ways. Blessings for your special writings.


    Good morning, Yvonne,
    What a beautiful story of a couple at different times in their lives caring for each other. COVID was hard on everyone – such isolation. Thank you for sharing and reminding us that God is in charge of when we die. God also puts people in our lives for a reason even though we might not realize why at the time. God helps us to use our experiences to help others. All wonderful aspects of our faith. Blessings.


    God certainly gives strength and is right there with me when my husband was in the hospital until he passed several days after. The Dr told me two days and I told the Dr that God would not do this in two days, He will give me more time. He did and the Word, the prayers gave me what I needed, and God gave me several more days not two but He knew then that I was going to be able to handle it!
    God is so good!!
    God bless.


    Thank you, Yvonne. This is a lovely testimony to God’s power in someone’s life.


    Thank you for your devotional. It spoke to me.
    Happy Thanksgiving weekend.


    Thanks for this devotional. It’s important for us to distinguish real, objective guilt before God and our false feelings of guilt. One is because we have broken God’s law, the other is simply due to our confused thoughts and emotions. We need Christ for the former, possibly counseling for the latter.
    Blessings on you.
    (ON)


    Yvonne. This is a lovely tribute to Jim and Sue! And to the God that loves them and you, too!

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