I had a problem. After a long time of wishing it would go away, I finally prayed about it. "Father, I carry an abiding sense of being not good enough, being wrong somehow, and not acceptable to You. I wait upon You, Lord, for an answer I can take to heart. I want to rest from this nagging insecurity."
Our grandson, Jay, at eighteen months of age showed me a clue to God's answer for my fear.
One afternoon at a playground, it was time for Jay to take our hands and cross the parking lot. My husband's hands were stained with grease, despite attempted cleanings after a messy mechanical job. Jay reached for Gu-pu's hand, paused, clapped, and rubbed his own hands together, as if to brush grit from them. Then he took hold of his Gu-pu's index finger and led us to the swings. Jay's body language looked to me like he was saying, "Gu-pu, your hands are dirty. No matter; let's go play."
The incident reminded me of what Jesus told the scribes and Pharisees who brought Him the woman caught in adultery: "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first." After her accusers left, He said to her, "Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." (John 8:7b,10b-11 NKJV)
Jay's hand-cleaning gesture acknowledged the stain on his Gu-pu's hands but it did not interfere with their relationship. Christ acknowledged the woman's past behaviour and showed us that it had no bearing on His unconditional love.
My dictionary of Bible words gives the definition for Satan as "the accuser". After that day at the park, I twigged about the source of my insecurity, and I began to answer any thought of not being good enough with verses from the Bible, God's sword to defeat the accuser.
Romans 8:1-2 – There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. (NKJV)
Ephesians 1:6b – He has made us accepted in the Beloved [Christ]. (NKJV)
2 Corinthians 5:21 – God put the wrong on [Christ] who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God. (MSG)
I am assured now that I am absolutely right with God. I can pray a prayer of thanksgiving based on Ephesians 1:3-6: "Thanks, Lord! By grace, through the redemptive work of Jesus, I am welcome as if without fault in Your presence. I am Your holy, adopted child because You chose me and because it is Your great pleasure to unite me with Jesus. You have blessed me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms!"
Daily, when I visit God in prayer and Bible reading, by nudges of the Holy Spirit, He does gently encourage me to grow in wisdom and in our relationship. It is a loving, patient coaching, not that nagging, heavy insecurity that I used to feel.
So if there is a lurking "what if" that threatens your peace and joy, please don't wish it would go away. Ask the Lord about it. I am sure that the Holy Spirit will guide you to a personal answer for the burden when you share it with Him.
Prayer: Father, thank You that Jesus cried out from the cross, "It is finished!" Evil's hold on us is done! Help us to freely show and tell others the wonders of life in Christ. We ask in the name of Jesus, our Lord. Amen.
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Listen while you read: "Praise To The Lord The Almighty" (Lyrics)