The Roller-Coaster Ride

With the brand new beginning of another year underway, I wonder what 2012 will bring. I can't believe how quickly the years have passed; the older I get, the faster the time seems to fly by.

Last year, my life was a roller-coaster ride, full of ups and downs. My mother had a total left knee replacement. Helping her to get up from her chair, helping her into bed, and driving her to physiotherapy twice a week entailed a lot of time from me. She is scheduled for a total right knee replacement this month. A few months ago, during surgery on his carotid artery, my husband suffered a mini-stroke. Although he is improving daily, there are some things that are not the same. I found myself grieving over the loss of the "old" Kurt and taking over some responsibilities that he used to do.

My writing was put on the back burner, and I felt alone and angry. I was also starting to feel sorry for myself. I felt like I was always giving, giving, and giving some more. I started to have thoughts like, "I don't have any time for myself," or "I can't handle all of this anymore," or "Why do I have to do all these things by myself?" I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I started to go downhill, ending up at the very bottom. It's not nice at the bottom. I felt like I was trapped, unable to climb up again.

And then it happened. I was reading a Daily devotional entitled Focus on God, when God spoke to me through the writer's words. You see, instead of focusing on God and praying for His will in my life, I was focusing on myself and on the circumstances that I was in. It was at that time that I felt my roller coaster slowly chugging its way up to the top again.

A good friend of mine shared this with me: "Let go of the old and embrace the new." So, as we proceed in this new year, may we let go of the old year with all of its uncertainties and hurts, and look forward to a new beginning with God's help.

Philippians 4:6-7 – Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NASB)

Prayer: Dear God, You allow roller-coaster rides in our lives in order to teach us that we do not have to carry things all alone, but that we can come to You first in everything, whether it is doubt, anxiety, frustration, or loneliness. You search our hearts and minds, and understand each and every one of us completely. Help us to trust in You in whatever situation we are in, knowing that You are always there to ease our burdens — we only have to reach out to You and call for help. Amen.

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