Who Do I Think I Am?

Job 38:4 – Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand.

Sunday's reading from Job 38:1-7 really got to me. And not for the first time either. Even when not reading it, its essence entraps me. "Who do I think I am?"

It all became a bit much. There I was, retirement just around the bend. The allotment of three score years and ten almost upon me, when parts of the sky began falling. Two more weeks to retirement and a urologist says, "You've got cancer; not serious, but it's there!" Checking it out, lightning hitting me on the golf course was more likely to do me in, but why not carry extra baggage? Then a growing aneurysm needed repair. "Wait your turn" was health care's answer.

And so it goes. The aneurysm was at last repaired; the oncologist called for a blood test. I really didn't want to go away for a few weeks of treatment. And POW – numbers are down, no trip for radiation. Do I dare say "Hallelujah!"

On my way from the office, heady with my good news, and I find that a young mother of two, who some years before had stood before me while she and a young man made their wedding vows, has received the opposite word to mine. Now with tears, hers and mine, she is on her way for treatment.

Tears, a falling sky; others, young, so much to live for, and I am being blessed. Not strong enough to play golf yet, but life is mine. Life added to life, and where are the blessings for the others?

"Why me Lord?" has been a constant question. Why me, when others need blessing as well. Out of the greying mists brought on by tears there is no thundering voice to bring an answer. Yet, there is a word from the One who laid out the foundation of the universe while morning stars sang, and angels shouted for joy.

Knowing this, continuing discipleship calls for continuing faithfulness. Stop at 65 or even 70? Worry about PSA numbers? Start to fret again about another aneurysm they say needs attention? Not a chance! There are things to do, prayers to offer and work to do, rather than ask questions.

Prayer: Lord, you know I'd rather worry. But you have shown the faces of those who truly have problems and we can help them. Grant us grace, we pray, to do and not grow weary or question, and bring you our constant praise for all your goodness. Amen.