Sincerely Wrong

Matthew 7:1 – Do not judge, or you too will be judged. (NIV)

My birth weight was 9 lb. 4 oz. My mother weighed 90 lb. Obviously, I was not the petite, fine–boned, delicate child that she had hoped for, and that was when the problem began.

I am sure that she loved me, but it was on her terms. She believed that she best showed this love by preventing me from gaining weight. I took after my 6-foot 2-inch, broad-shouldered father. My mother thought that she was saving me from an early death, because all of the men on dad's side of the family died from heart attacks before they turned 50. His sisters also had heart problems. Ironically, none of them were overweight — it was genetic. When I hit my teen years, it became her mission in life to keep anything that she deemed fattening out of my reach. And she did it with words, spoken and unspoken, and often, with actions.

Unfortunately for me, I had dad's love for desserts. I shall never forget the first time that my best friend came for dinner. Mom had made some mouth-watering Chelsea buns for dessert, and I took a chance and casually reached for a second one, assuming that she wouldn't say anything with my friend there. Wrong! As fast as the speed of light, the back of mom's butter knife cracked across my knuckles. My father managed to contain his anger, but I know that she heard about it later.

There are no words to describe how humiliated I felt. I was about to achieve my life-long dream of becoming a teacher and taking on the awesome responsibility of moulding children's lives, but in my mother's eyes, I was still a child, incapable of choosing what I should or should not eat.

My mother was totally sincere, but sadly, she was "sincerely wrong". As a result, I lived many years chained to some form of diet and had a poor body image. It was an obsession with me. The irony was that I was not fat. I tended to gain easily if I weren't careful, but I was physically active and very involved in sports. I think that I must have gained and lost thousands of pounds. I hated shopping for clothes, and still do, because of my mother's unending criticism of what I wore — like no horizontal stripes, no loud colours. It was called brain washing.

Then, I met Jesus Christ. He accepted me as His child, just as I was, and loved me enough to die for me and give me the gift of eternal life. That experience turned my life around, and the words of the song "Just as I am, I come" became my lifeline. I'm sure that it saved my sanity, and I finally began to love myself, but the "F word" never really left me.

Being "sincerely wrong" also causes some Christian parents to harp continually at their children about spiritual matters. For some reason, they don't seem to realize that the more they keep on doing this, the more the children resist, and may eventually even turn against their parents and anything to do with the church. Sadly, even if their children have already accepted Christ as Saviour, they continue to judge their faith on "right" or "wrong" behaviour. They seem to forget that there is only one Judge, the Lord Jesus Christ, and by their judging, they are guilty of usurping His place, and disobeying His explicit commandment not to judge, thereby putting themselves in jeopardy.

Has anyone out there ever been guilty of "playing God" in someone's life? Forgive me for my bluntness, but this question may save you from falling into this dreadful trap, all done in the name of love.

Prayer: Lord, forgive our blindness to the teachings in Your Word, teachings designed to help us to show genuine love to others in all of our actions. Help us to be very aware of our human tendency to judge others by our standards, instead of simply accepting them just as they are and leaving the outcome with You. In Jesus' powerful name, we pray. Amen.

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